Vanity Fair Oscar Party Red Carpet Rundown – PART ONE

Let’s WRAP THIS MOTHER UP, shall we? If you feel you’ve missed out on our Oscars 2022 coverage, by all means, check it out, but for now, we’ve got to round up all the stragglers and judge them quickly. Put on your judging pants and let’s go!

Arian DeBose in Monot

This girl is clearly ready to party her ass off and wore the right dress for it. We can’t believe that after at least a half-decade of the single-strap naked sandal, we’re in an era where female stars are going crazy for invisible shoes that deform your feet.

Chrissy Teigen (in Georges Hobeika) and John Legend (in Gucci)

Hate to say it, but the evidence is right there. That cutout is not her friend. Granted, the pose isn’t helping, but red carpets are literally all about posing. Pick your outfit accordingly. He looks okay, but those giant shoes look strange.

Daisy Edgar-Jones in Versace

We’re just gonna go with our verbatim response: “Wow. What an ugly dress.”

Dominic Fike and Hunter Schafer in Rick Owens

Oh, you crazy kids; with your attitudes and your unlit cigarettes for show and your hideous denim gowns. Have fun tonight!

Hailee Steinfeld in Rokh

Somewhat surprisingly conventional for her. We assume she’s posing like that to keep the bust from slipping right off her.

Halsey in Dolce & Gabbana

See, this is why we were okay with Anya Taylor-Joy’s see-through dress; because at least it was chic and styled in a really eye-catching way. We’ve got no issue with a pop star dressing like a stripper (there’s a long history), but from a fashion perspective, this couldn’t be less interesting.

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner in Louis Vuitton

She looks great. He looks a little douchey but that’s pretty standard for male pop stars. We like the suit, but hate how the pattern looks at the hem of the pants.

Kate Hudson in Carolina Herrera


Kristen Stewart in Chanel

We don’t love the bow, but this is a surprisingly chic take on the tired old black lace sheer gown. It’s sexy and she looks very comfy in it. Love the cuffs. It needed a pendant.

Marlee Matlin (in Dolce & Gabbana) and Emilia Jones (in Louis Vuitton)

THAT is how you do it for the after parties. They both look stunning and hot.

Megan The Stallion in Mônot

This year’s Oscars has lit a fire under our long cooled hatred of the side cutout. It’s almost funny how bad they look here. The bust isn’t fitting all that well and the putty color photographs terribly. Everything about the neck is stunning, though.

Natalie Portman in Dior

The design isn’t reinventing any wheels, but it suits her and the color is pleasingly unusual for the red carpet. Needs more gold jewelry.

Olivia Colman in Dolce & Gabbana

You know you’re an A-lister when you can get D&G to do that for you. She looks great. Love the color.

Rita Ora in Miss Sohee

It’s time we admitted that Rita Ora’s red carpet style drastically improved once she started dating Taika Waititi. This is beautiful, although we don’t love the embellishment on the shoes.

Rosario Dawson in Thom Browne

This is a fantastic design that’s way too editorial for a party with a red carpet. We also aren’t convinced it suits her.

Saniyya Sidney in Armani Private

We’ve gotta say, having looked at quite a few of her choices through awards season, this girl has fantastic taste. She and/or her team do such a great job of selecting high fashion pieces that feel teenager-appropriate.

Saweetie in Etro

Our hatred of side cutouts has gotten us to the point where our dislike of massive plunging necklines has started to fade. We don’t mind most of this. It’s totally on brand and she looks smoking hot.

Serena Williams in Versace

It’s a little tight in the bust, but otherwise, we can’t fault it as a party dress.

Timothée Chalamet in Alexander McQueen

We love when our Pretentious Boy Prince tries to butch things up a little.

Venus Williams in Givenchy Couture

Bodies should not have noses.

[Photo Credit: [Instarimages.Com]

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